Mark S. Brown

“Leadership is stewardship. It’s temporary and you’re accountable.”, said Andy Stanley. I have never thought of my leadership positions as being temporary, yet all of them have been. As a leader we are focused on finding success for our team. We continually monitor and plan for both the short term and long term.

Being a leader is a bit of a paradox. As a human being we resist change. We like stability. However, change is what leads to success. Most of a leader’s time is spent managing change within his team or organization, not their own personal change and growth.

How can we better prepare ourselves for changes that are inevitable in our own lives? As a leader we should be good at it. However, this does not seem to be the case. Here are 3 ideas on how to prepare yourself for changes within yourself.

1. Develop a vision. A leader is responsible for creating and communicating their organization’s mission. Do you have a defined vision and mission statement for your life? A well thought out vision and and a well written mission statement can help you clarify where you want to be in the future. It seems simple, but very few people have taken the time to create a personal mission statement. If you reflect back on the major changes in your life, do you think one mission statement could capture your decisions, and describe your path to today? Would your path have changed if you had a vision and mission early in your life?

2. Create a sense of urgency. This is one of the key drivers of change in your organization. You have had to set the timing, the pace, the urgency. Do you create the same sense of urgency within your life? Most leaders are content to create urgency at work, and then come home and relax in the comfort of their stable and secure environment.

3. Clarify why change is necessary. In a work environment, we can determine the need for change through performance metrics and goals. Do you have any measures that will help you link your daily life with your personal vision and mission? Could you create metrics around your desired future? As a leader, you are very familiar with daily, weekly, and monthly reports. Create a process to summarize your personal life in a form that will create a view of your success. Maybe a quarterly report card will help reflect your progress towards your life goals, and help you clarify your focus.

Dan Cathy has said, “[In an organization], when the rate of external change continually outpaces the rate of internal change, disaster is imminent.” Reflect on how the rate of change around you versus the rate of change in your own life results in peace or conflict. Aligning personal change with external change is one way to increase your internal peace.

From a well know proverb we hear, “From listening comes wisdom and from speaking, repentance.” Listening is an important skill when connecting with others. It is also an important skill for staying in touch with yourself. Here are three ways to listening within.

1. Listen to your heart. When you reflect on your actions for the day, we usually think with our head. We must not forget to listen to our heart. Have we acted the way we should have acted. Have we treated others with fairness and respect.

2. Know your values. Your values are your own. They are unique to your being. Most were born from early experiences in our lives, but some we develop as we grow wiser. Listen to your thoughts, reflect, and match your thoughts with your values. Staying aligned with who you want to be, and avoiding the trap of being to busy.

3. Follow your intuition. Your intuition is a great gift born of experience and knowledge, but sharpened into instinct. It guides you, if you listen.

“Listen to what you know instead of what you fear,” said Richard Bach. Reflecting and listening will help keep you grounded, and control your fears. Each day joy is within you. Take the time to listen.

Do you ever wake up to a cold wet rainy day, and feel like rolling over and going back to sleep? Having a good attitude every day can be a challenge when you don’t have a strategy to make the most of every day.

When you are willing to admit that having a great attitude does not happen automatically, you should develop a strategy that can help you on days that seem challenging. Here are three approaches that can help.

1. Go to the source. The source for your attitude is within you. Your feelings reside inside, not outside. Spending a few minutes alone, reflecting from within, can help realign your attitude. After you begin to feel that great attitude inside, you will be able to show it on the outside.

2. Be flexible. Every day is different. We can be challenged when our environment does not support our plan for the day. Keeping alternate plans ready for changing environments will help you adjust to the ever changing situation around you. If it is raining and cold and you are not able to do what you wanted to do, switch your plan. Pull up an alternative plan for the day that is something you wanted to achieve. I always have a list or alternatives that can keep my attitude positive regardless of my external situation.

3. Connect with your energizer. Your energizer is a friend that always gives you a boost. A fun friend that can immediately change your attitude. They are someone that can make a good day great, or a bad day good. Reach out to your energizer when you need help getting in the right frame of mind.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong,” said Mahatma Ghandi. Sometimes it is difficult to see how forgiveness fits in the business world. Trust, innovation, integrity, are usually found on a list of company values. Forgiveness is not.

Yet, forgiveness is one of the most important values at a personal level. People that hold grudges, have created chains that keep them from living at their potential. People that judge others, tend to be judged more harsh than others. Leaders that fail to forgive, will hold back their entire organization.

Here are three things to consider about improving your ability to forgive.

1. Discover the value of forgiveness. The act of forgiving changes you, changes others, and helps your team. Holding a grudge helps no one. Learn to see the value in perspective of all those around you.

2. Develop a reflection process for forgiveness. Forgiving comes from within. It is not something you can make happen without truly changing your attitude from within. If you try to hide a grudge, it is still there. As you reflect on your day, think about those that need forgiven. Develop a habit to forgive every day.

3. Choose to forgive. You have the ability to decide. Make the choice to forgive every one for what they do. Forgiveness is the ultimate act of love. For the world, it is the right choice 100% of the time. You decide.

Lewis B. Smedes said, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”