I enjoy watching The Voice, a reality show for vocalists. Contestants start out in the beginning by singing in a blind audition. If you have seen the show, then you know the four coaches can press their button which swings their chair around so they can then see the contestant. Pressing their button indicates they want the contestant on their team.
If more than one coach presses their button, then the contestant gets to select their coach. This is the fun part.
I like to watch how the coaches interact with the contestant. They only have a few minutes to make a connection so that a contestant will want to choose them as their coach. The techniques that we can observe in these coaches will also work for us in our everyday situations.
Here are some of the key methods that I have recognized the coaches using:
1. Find common ground. The coaches quickly search for common ground. You can see them ask about where a person is from, who are their favorite artists, what genre of music they enjoy, etc. We connect with someone when we have something in common with them.
2. Use humor. A contestant can be very nervous on stage. You can watch the coaches lighten the moment by using humor. Often they are taking jabs from each other removing the stress from the contestant. We are drawn to humor. Laughter helps us connect.
3. Ask questions. Occasionally you see a coach ask a deeper question. They are probing to find an emotional connection with the contestant. When this happens, and it is successful, the contestant almost always selects the coach that asks the question. We can become skilled at asking great questions if we prepare, practice, and learn from our experiences. Questions are the best way to initially connect with someone. This process puts the focus and attention on them, not on ourselves. We connect with people that are interested in us.
4. Use positive reinforcement. All of the coaches are supportive of the contestants that they want on their team. So by itself positive reinforcement does not really make a difference in this situation. However, when a coach can combine it with supportive suggestions or ideas it can be very effective. It has to be done in a way that makes the contestant feel good, but also feel that the coach can help them improve. If we can get others to see possibilities for the future, we can connect with them in that vision.
Next time you have a chance to watch The Voice, think about how you would impact the contestants. What would you do with the few minutes you would get? And more importantly, how can you apply these lessons to your day?