Author: Mark S. Brown

Learning from The Voice: First Impressions that Count

I enjoy watching The Voice, a reality show for vocalists. Contestants start out in the beginning by singing in a blind audition. If you have seen the show, then you know the four coaches can press their button which swings their chair around so they can then see the contestant. Pressing their button indicates they want the contestant on their team.

If more than one coach presses their button, then the contestant gets to select their coach. This is the fun part.

I like to watch how the coaches interact with the contestant. They only have a few minutes to make a connection so that a contestant will want to choose them as their coach. The techniques that we can observe in these coaches will also work for us in our everyday situations.

Here are some of the key methods that I have recognized the coaches using:

1. Find common ground. The coaches quickly search for common ground. You can see them ask about where a person is from, who are their favorite artists, what genre of music they enjoy, etc. We connect with someone when we have something in common with them.

2. Use humor. A contestant can be very nervous on stage. You can watch the coaches lighten the moment by using humor. Often they are taking jabs from each other removing the stress from the contestant. We are drawn to humor. Laughter helps us connect.

3. Ask questions. Occasionally you see a coach ask a deeper question. They are probing to find an emotional connection with the contestant. When this happens, and it is successful, the contestant almost always selects the coach that asks the question. We can become skilled at asking great questions if we prepare, practice, and learn from our experiences. Questions are the best way to initially connect with someone. This process puts the focus and attention on them, not on ourselves. We connect with people that are interested in us.

4. Use positive reinforcement. All of the coaches are supportive of the contestants that they want on their team. So by itself positive reinforcement does not really make a difference in this situation. However, when a coach can combine it with supportive suggestions or ideas it can be very effective. It has to be done in a way that makes the contestant feel good, but also feel that the coach can help them improve. If we can get others to see possibilities for the future, we can connect with them in that vision.

Next time you have a chance to watch The Voice, think about how you would impact the contestants. What would you do with the few minutes you would get? And more importantly, how can you apply these lessons to your day?

Find Your Success Within

It is no secret that real leadership starts within the leader. John C. Maxwell has said, “to do more, you have to be more”. He is referring to our character, our values, our thoughts, and our actions.

How often do you reflect on your own character? How strong are your values? Take five minutes and challenge yourself to put in writing your beliefs, values, and strengths. Make a list, and capture a description of your inner self.

The list is your pathway to success. It defines behaviors that you need to live every day to be successful. It should not describe the person you desire to be, the person you are. It should clarify in your mind the areas that require more of your focus, and areas that you need to be more intentional with.

How do you become more? You need to grow yourself in the areas that you value, and the areas of your strengths.

The list should also reveal your passions. Passion allows you to see opportunities. Passion is the fuel that triggers your action.

When I did this exercise, I learned that even though I am driven to help others succeed, I can sometimes be stuck routines that limit my effectiveness. I am excited about the ideas I generated on how I can help others in new ways, and hopefully more effective ways.

If you didn’t already stop to make your list, take the chance to do it right now. It will lead you to new ideas. Ideas that will let you become more, and do more.

Here’s a Quick Way to be More Productive

Index cards are the single most effective productivity tool that I use every day. The index card may not seem significant to you, or it has been replaced by a technology tool. However here are five simple ways the index card enhances my day:

1. Daily reminders. Early in the morning I review my key objectives for the day. I jot them down on an index card that I keep in front of me on my desk. If I have to leave my desk, I tuck it in in my pocket and take it with me. This habit is my foundation of being intentional with my actions every day.

2. Bookmarks. I use index cards as bookmarks. I can write notes, or page numbers on them. I do read electronic books, but I much prefer a paper copy. I also like to write notes directly in my books. Cards have an advantage because you can take your notes out of the book, and use them for other purposes. If I am reading a book of fiction, I find it helpful to keep character names listed on a card (my bookmark). I add the page number where the character was introduced so I can go back and remind myself of characters as the book progresses.

3. Tickler File. If you have used David Allen’s Getting Things Done productivity system, then you know about a tickler file system. If you haven’t I suggest you check out what a tickler file can do for you. I have created a robust system using index cards instead of file folders. I use an index card box, tabbed index cards for dividers, and a pack of index cards for my tickler reminders. This perpetual system becomes more effective year after year.

4. Portable notes. I carry index cards in my pocket. When I am travelling or in a meeting, I need to have a place to write down thoughts, ideas, and actions. I could use my phone for this purpose, but since I am over 50, I write faster than I type with my thumbs.

5. Daily reviews. The cards I use each day end up on my desk. This creates an easy way to review and capture future actions that may be needed. This becomes the basis for a daily reflection, and lessons learned process.

There is nothing high tech about index cards. In fact, index cards have been around since 1760. But they work. I don’t have to worry about a dead battery, or a weak WiFi signal. It becomes simple to write down the thought that I need to capture. It is my favorite productivity tool.

What about you? What is your favorite productivity tool?

How Do You Define Significance in Your Life?

A friend of mine, Scott Fay, writes and teaches on success and significance in our lives. Another friend of mine forwarded to me an article about how we sometimes positively impact others in our lives without knowing it. There is a great connection between these two ideas.

In his book, Discover Your Sweet Spot, Scott explores how we create significance by giving away what we can’t keep. That certainly includes money, but it also encompasses our time, our attention, our talents, and our efforts. Significance in our lives is about being significant in the lives of others. It is not about us.

When we influence others through our actions, we will probably never see the result or know that we had any effect. But that shouldn’t cause us to change our actions.

Isn’t it amazing that if we have the right motives, and work to positively impact others, we can succeed and not even know it. We should strive for significance without any need to see the results.

This morning I reflected about people that have had a positive impact on my life. I found it amazing that most have no idea that they had an influence me. I am sure you would discover the same if you thought about people that have shaped your life, and your list would probably include family, teachers, mentors, friends, and colleagues.

I think a great challenge for each of us would be to reflect on the significance we want to have in our lives. What actions should we be taking to make a difference for others? Are we prepared to follow through every day without the reward of knowing the effect?