Are Your Angry or Sad?

Media headlines are designed to evoke our emotions. This week I have been asking people if the recent events (the Dallas shooting in particular) has made them angry or sad.

When you first heard about the Dallas sniper that shot and killed five police officers, what was your initial reaction? For me, it was grief, sadness, and a touch of bewilderment.

Based on feedback from many people, I think this was a common reaction. In fact, not a single person told me their first reaction was anger. Yet it seems the media is always able to capture a feeling of anger.

My prayers are with the victims, and families of this tragic incident. We will never understand why it happened. But because of our media, we can be sure that it will be repeated. There will be someone else that steps forward to copy this crime.

I wish our freedom of the press was used for better purposes.

I encourage you to evaluate all situations not only from the perspective of others and the media, but from your own perspective. What is the true emotion that comes from within, not planted by someone else? Our world needs empathy, not anger.

 

5 Lessons I Have Learned From Bad Decisions

We can’t avoid making bad decisions in our life, because we all make mistakes. But we can work to minimize the number of bad decisions we make. We can also try minimize the negative impact they may have on our life.

I made one decision this week that cost me about $3000. It was a mistake. In retrospect, I could say it was stupid.

Not all bad decisions cost us money. We also pay through lost opportunities, lost time, or even lost friends. These bad decisions can weigh us down, affect our attitude, and make life more difficult.

But I have found that regardless of the decisions I have made, they are all in the past. Tomorrow arrives with new opportunities. I still wish I could minimize my bad decisions. Here are 5 causes of most of my bad decisions, and some things I try to improve.

1. Lack of Knowledge. It is difficult to make a decision when you are not informed. Decisions become a coin toss. You win some. You lose some. I have made continuous study and education part of my normal day.

2. Lack of Experience. Practice counts. It is simple. My results, decisions, performance, all improve when I put in the work. Experts don’t become experts without real experience.

3. Over Confidence. When I become over confident I make mistakes. Humility helps me seek to become better. When we don’t prepare because we are confident, we can get blindsided.

4. Lack of Discipline. I hope I am not the only person that struggles with this. There are times when I know I should be doing one thing, and I end up spending time doing something else. What works best for me is to change necessary tasks into habits. Do something every day for 21 days, and it will become easier to do.

5. Not Knowing Myself. Sometimes decisions that go bad are because we don’t like the place the decision leads us. When I can weigh my options against my values it brings a sense of clarity. My values will help my discern between short term desires and long term benefits. I need to know myself well.

Do any of these resonate with you? What helps you make better decisions?

What Do Your Fears Cost?

Throughout our lives we experience success and failure. Events that shape us, and slowly create the bars of our cell. We build a cell based on our own success and failure. It is a comfort zone within which we live. Bar by bar, we build it.

The funny thing is we don’t realize we are caged. We enjoy our cell.

It is our fear that keeps us in the cell. We all have fears. People that say they don’t… well let’s just say they are afraid to admit their fears! Our fears are designed to keep us safe. But they can also keep us trapped, if we are not willing to test our limits.

As Mark Twain said, “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”

If you let fear control the size of your cell, your success will be limited. I like to ask myself, what is my fear costing me today? What am I missing when I fail to stretch beyond my comfort zone?

After some reflection this week, I have created a plan to step out of my comfort zone next week. The tasks I defined will not be easy. If I want to achieve my goals, I need to push myself to step out of my own cell.

Do you have a fear that is limiting you? Are you ready to step beyond your cell? Join me in creating a plan to break through next week.

Are You Negatively Affecting Others?

When I feel overwhelmed and overworked, I recognize that my attitude is affecting everyone that I encounter. Hiding a negative attitude is difficult.

I tell myself that being frustrated is selfish, and I try to let go of my frustration as quickly as possible. But there are times that I get overwhelmed with my commitments for day or the week. My attitude becomes negative.

For me, I think the worst days are when I struggle giving my time to others. Some days I need to give my full attention to my deadlines. Then when things don’t go according to plan, my attitude really begins to suffer.

I guess we all have days like that. Here are some thoughts on how to fix those days.

1. Talk with someone. Sharing my burdens helps me get things in perspective. My self-imposed deadlines are usually not as important as I thought. Sharing frustrations is a great method to clear your mind and move forward.

2. Share your calendar and to-do list. Sharing schedules and tasks with your team, your co-workers, and your family can open the door for shared responsibilities. On days when you have time, you can help others with their schedule and tasks. On days when you need help, maybe others will come to your rescue. Creating and sharing goals creates this opportunity. It can work great in all facets of life… work, home, community.

3. Find help. Find your needed resources and enlist their help. This is best as a long term solution. It is difficult to recruit help when you have no time. But if you can strategically develop resources that can help you at critical times, this approach can pay dividends for a long time.

4. Find a win to celebrate. Celebrating a small win is just what you need to alter your attitude from negative to positive. Sometimes all you need is a small push to overcome those negative feelings. I find that I have to seek these opportunities.

Next time you are frustrated and overwhelmed, put a smile on your face, and give these ideas a try.