If you are trying to strengthen a connection with someone, get out of your own head, and get into theirs. If can discover how people spend their time and money, you will learn what they value. If you know what they value, you will have gained valuable insight in how you may improve your connection with them.
It seems like such a simple approach, but all of us live life through our own perspective. You have to intentionally refocus your thoughts to achieve another perspective. Here is how you can apply this simple tool.
1. Understand both time and money. If you want to understand someone, you need to see both aspects. Together they will give you a better understanding. Where do they spend money? When do they pay for premium, and when do they buy just average products (clothes, car, food, etc.)? How do they spend their time at work? How do they spend their free time? When are they the happiest? What activities do they enjoy? These simple questions can give you great insight.
2. Find common ground. Once you feel you understand what someone values, you need to determine what you have something in common. At times this is easy to recognize, and in other cases you will have to dig deeper. Making a connection with someone with whom you share an interest or hobby can be easy. But if you need to connect with someone when you don’t see common ground, you should consider values, ideals, and thoughts. This can be a tougher option to uncover.
3. Take action to connect. How can you meet their need? How can you create a connection based on the shared common ground? This is the action step. You may be able to develop your connection through shared goals, and interests. You might also be able to develop a connection by modifying your behavior to match what they value, in order to build rapport. However, always be authentic, and always maintain your own values. Never become something you are not just to make a connection.
Take a minute and think about someone you know fairly well. Think about how they spend their time and their money. What does that tell you about what they value, and what is important to them?
Now think about someone you want to connect with. Do you know how they spend their time and money? If not, your first step is learning more about them. If you do, then how would you describe their values? Does it give you any ideas on how to strengthen your connection with them?
This is a simple tool, but can be powerful at moments when we struggle to connect!