Category: Personal Growth

Be Sincere in Your Praise and Feedback

We can tell when someone is using flattery to make us feel better. With friends it can be harmless fun, but within a business it can be disastrous.

To lead a growing organization, you must provide honest and helpful feedback. Too often we provide only critical opinions on how we perceive performance or we compensate for negative comments by adding flattery. To be effective, performance reviews need to be honest. They need ton consist of two-way discussion. For an employee to improve in your eyes they need to understand your perspective (or change your perspective). Effective feedback can include examples of behavior, discussion of alternative actions, or revision of goals.

If you are able observe without judging, you will be able to increase your capability for compelling evaluation. It takes practice.

To show you really care about a person, always be open and sincere. This applies to both praise and constructive criticism. This quote from Dale Carnegie puts it into perspective.  “The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.”

Living in the Moment

Do you really think that living in the past and letting it overshadow today is helping you? Do not stumble on the things that are behind you, nor fear that which lies ahead.

Carpe diem! Carpe diem is a shortened version of the original Latin phrase “Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero” meaning “seize the day, trusting as little as possible in the future.”

Carpe diem is commonly used to justify spontaneous behavior and to make the most of today, because one doesn’t know if they’ll live to see tomorrow. It is not saying “ignore the future”. Rather do as much as one can now because you won’t know how the future will unfold.

Carpe diem is a truth. You can only live in the moment. The future has not arrived, and the past is already gone. To make the most of the time you have you must live and act in this moment. But it does not mean you need to act  carelessly or recklessly.

Most meaningful projects take more than one day. The challenge is making the most of each day. Not by being spontaneous, but by being strategic. We still need to maintain some level of spontaneity for unplanned opportunity and fun. But significant projects will never be accomplished through procrastination.

Every action can affect the future. Every action can help reconcile the past. But every action can only be done now. When you think in those terms, hopefully you are encouraged to do more today. Be encouraged and take action now.

Open and Authentic

There are times in my life when I have felt hurt or betrayed. Those feelings can come from situations where I was not told the truth, and then blindsided by something for which I was not prepared.

As I spent some time reflecting this week, I realized another benefit for being open and authentic with others. You enable yourself to tell the truth and prevent those types of hurt feelings.

Leading an organization and being open can be difficult if you are dealing with confidential data. Here are a couple of practices that can help you be authentic in these situations.

When an organization makes personnel changes, rumors have a tendency to propagate  because of information leaks. The best policy is to announce changes immediately. Once the change is decided and approved, just make the announcement. It is the simplest way to minimize the time for rumors. It also reflects openness.

Secondly, if someone asks me about a rumor of an upcoming change, I would be honest and tell them I could not answer. But I would always be able to tell them that changes are being considered, and that as soon as they are approved, I would announce them. This too is being open.

For me, these two practices help create trust and authenticity with the organization. What has helped you be more open when faced with difficult questions?

The Process of Success and Failure

We tend to think of success and failure as events. They are not moments in time, but rather processes. Our successes and failures come from the actions we take leading up to that moment in time.

In 2013, I defined a goal for myself to write a book. My target date for completion was December 1, 2016. That day passed by without having a book written. I had failed. In fact when I reached my target date, I had not even started writing the book.

Many excuses played in my head. I was busy. I didn’t know where to start. It was too much work. I can’t write very well. But the truth is that I never had a process that would lead to success. By default, I had a process that would lead to failure.

Doesn’t that happen to us quite often. For me, I have a more ideas and plans than time. It requires sifting and selecting the ones that are more important. The probability of success is defined by the next step. We must take that idea and develop a process that will lead to success.

Defining the process is different than defining milestones or goals. Milestones check progress toward a goal. The process is actually doing the work.

If I had dedicated 15 minutes a day toward writing that book, I would have completed about half a page a day. In two years, I would have accomplished over 300 pages of material. Even if I allocate a year for editing a rewriting I would achieve the goal in three years. Instead I wasted five, by not having a process.

But if failure is not an event, we can recover. After realizing failure, I changed my process. Today, I am writing a book using only 15 minutes at a time at least five days a week. It is a process that will eventually lead to success.

When we recognize failure as a process, we can change our process. What process do you need to change to achieve your goals? What should you allocate 15 minutes of your time to every day?