Personal Growth – Page 27

The Secret of Building Character

Today I was thinking about my plans for 2016. I wrote a few weeks ago about setting goals based on becoming a better person. I wanted to shift my focus beyond just objectives. As a coach, I work with people to help them close the gap between what they know and what they do. But when we look to build character, we can think about three stages.

1. What you know. To grow yourself, you have to invest in yourself. Knowledge can come from many different perspectives. It is not just books and classes, knowledge also comes from experiences and the people with whom we spend time.

2. What you do. This is where we put into action what we have learned. Everyone can use help with this stage. We grow ourselves through doing, failing, learning, and finally success. Growth is facilitated by stepping out of your comfort zone, and then overcoming the failures you encounter.

3. Who you are. Our knowledge, experiences, and actions are the basis for how we develop our values in life. It is self awareness that allows us to grow in our values and know how they fit in the world.

These three stages are important to think, especially as we encounter failure. Failing due to a lack of knowledge should not be a huge concern. We can never know everything, so these types of failures will happen. A lack of knowledge can also be easily corrected.

Failing by not doing what we know we should do is also typical. I think it is a human condition to always intend to do more than we can really do. This gap is what drives our performance. But again failing here will happen.

Failing the third stage should be our major concern. When we are unable to live our values, or lack the awareness to recognize how values should define us, we have truly failed. If we really want to grow our character and become a better person, then we need to know and stay true to our values.

With this perspective, I am still working my plan for 2016. The question that is at the top of my mind is, “How can I better understand, and function based on my values?”

How are you doing with developing your 2016 plan?

How to Embrace Generosity

Are you generous? That is a tough question because there is no standard formula for generosity. What standard do you compare yourself with? We are probably not as generous as Mother Teresa. But maybe we can consider ourselves more generous than many of the corporate and business leaders that we know.

I would like to be more generous. I would imagine that you would also. How can we embrace being more generous? When we look at all the demands and responsibilities in our lives, is it possible to give more? I think so. Especially if I expand my thinking about generosity.

Earn more to give more. In the last few years I have learned that the more I give, the more I am rewarded with new opportunities. I had to stop telling myself that I would give more when I earned more. Instead I had to give more, which gave me the proper attitude about earning more.
Value my time more than money. Generosity is not just about money. It is about giving your time to people that need it. My time is more valuable than money, so I began to use it for the value it represented. Two small changes made a difference for me. First, never dismiss someone’s request for help because I felt like I did not have time. It used to be too easy just to say no without thinking, because I am always busy. Two, every day find a way to do something for someone else. No matter how big or small, this effort will make a difference.
Value my relationships more than money. I expanded my concept of giving beyond just donations to my church, the United Way, and other organizations. I began to see how I can do a better job of supporting others in ways that build relationships, changes lives, and brightens the future. When you see, feel, and participate, it is more than a donation. I want to make sure my generosity is about people and relationships.
Think long term. Nothing I do today will have a dramatic immediate impact. However, doing something everyday for someone over the next ten, twenty, or thirty years will help make a better future.

Being generous not only helps other people, it makes me better. These changes in my life have affected my daily attitude. Each day I get up knowing that I am doing my best to be generous. How do you want to embrace generosity in your life?

The Tragedy of Insecure Leaders

We have all heard it said, “People are much faster to quit a bad boss, than a bad job.” I think one of the worst bosses to work for, is an insecure boss. I have always wondered how these people get promoted to their position.

A leader that is insecure is poison for an organization. They will destroy morale, and people will begin to leave. Maybe you have worked for one of these people in the past. They are easy to recognize.

1. An insecure leader does not provide security for others. These leaders are always looking out for themselves first. Their insecurity has them act to protect their job at the expense of others.

2. An insecure leader takes more from people than they give. These leaders are demanding of their people. In many cases they may not even understand the work associated with their demands. They want to beat their goals at any cost to keep their position.

3. An insecure leader limits the potential of people around them. They don’t ask for input. They don’t listen to suggestions. They are receiving all their input from the top. Those are the people they need to please, not their team. Your personal goals and growth do not matter to an insecure leader.

4. An insecure leader limits their own organization. Organizations are more effective when the talents of all are best utilized. This can never happen in an organization with insecure leaders.

If you are stuck working for an insecure leader, what is your escape plan? You are wasting your talents stuck in a position where you are not appreciated. Don’t think it will get better. Only when enough people leave will an organization see they have a problem.

This article may seem a little harsh, but do you really want to waste your potential?

Who Else Wants 2016 to Be a Great Year?

Maybe you are like me, and towards the end of each year, you reflect back and then set some goals for the next year. I was preparing myself for that annual activity, and decided that I wanted to take a different approach this year. I am sharing this so that maybe I can provide you with some new ideas, or an incentive to refresh your annual planning process.

One day last week, I was thinking about the goals I had achieved in 2015, and where I fell short of my targets. I also wondered if 2015 would really have been better if I achieved all my goals. That may sound crazy, but I was thinking that even if I achieved my goals, would I be the person I wanted to be.

The question that stuck in my head was, “How can I become a better person?” It is a much different question than, “What goals do I want to achieve in 2016?” My focus shifted from accomplishing a specific thing, to development. How can I grow my character? How can I improve my life?

Since that day of reflection, my attitude towards a plan for 2016 has been very stimulating. What does it really mean to be a better person?

With those thoughts in mind, I have started compiling areas to explore for my 2016 plan. Here is the list I have so far.

My attitude and how it affects everything I do
My faith
My relationships and investing in them
My generosity both money and time
My values and how I live them
My continued growth
My mental, physical, and spiritual health
My self-esteem
Making and handling commitments to others and myself
My approach to priorities

I think through this approach I will be able to develop a 2016 plan that is very rewarding, and probably more valuable than simply setting goals. I am excited about this approach and where it may lead me.

Some questions for you to think about:

What else do you think belongs on this list?
What is your plan for an end of year review?
What do you want to achieve in 2016?