Personal Growth – Page 2

Why Is Self-Discipline Difficult?

Success requires self-discipline. It is the method by which you convert your time into action on a regular basis. People who are great at self-discipline enjoy the results. People that are poor at self-discipline fail to consistently achieve. Because self-discipline is difficult, most of us fall in the middle.

Here are three methods to improve your level of self-discipline:

1. Set your priorities and goals. When I decide it is time to make improvements in my life, I typically review how I spend my time, and then I make adjustments with new goals. Often I try to adjust too many things. It is more effective to define just one or two priorities and then focus link it with the top change you want to make. Your more likely to stick with it.

2. Create systems and routines that provide daily focus on your goals. Discipline is all about practice. The habit you want to create is easier to maintain if you think of it not as a daily task, but as practice with the intent to improve every day. Stop just checking the box, and challenge yourself. Set up a system for tracking progress and also a system for rewards.

3. Find someone to hold you accountable. For me, the simple answer is find a coach. But that won’t always fit in a person’s budget. An accountability partner is anyone that can provide the motivation for you to follow through on your commitments. It could be a friend, a spouse, or a co-worker. You can also connect with someone with a similar interest or goal and challenge each other to continue.

Self-discipline is difficult because success takes time and we often lack the patience success requires. How can these three processes help you build the foundation for your future success?

A Friend at Work?

Friendships at work can be difficult. But research also shows that having a friend at work can greatly enhance the work experience and results. So how can you be a better friend at work? If you want to make better work friendships, I suggest looking at Tom Roth’s book, Vital Friends.

Friendships fill many needs in our life. Our friendships at work are the same. But in a work environment, we are more effective in our strength zone. So if you learn how you can be a better friend at work, you can focus on your strengths as a friend.

Here are, according to Tom, the roles friends fulfill:

1. Builder. Builders motivate their friends.

2. Champion. Champions stand up for their friends and sing their praises to others.

3. Collaborator. Collaborators work closely together with their friends on shared interests and goals.

4. Companion. Companions are always there for their friends. They are there through the good and the bad.

5. Connector. Connectors are bridge builders for their friends. They help them achieve by connecting them to people and resources they need.

6. Energizer. Energizers are fun friends that always provide a boost. They can change their friends attitudes by walking in the room.

7. Mind Opener. Mind openers challenge their friends and open their minds to new ideas.

8. Navigator. Navigators are friends that provide their friends advice and guidance.

As a friend, you do not fill all eight of these roles. You are probably very good at a few of them, especially in a work environment. If you know the roles that provides the basis for your at work friendship, doesn’t it follow that, you can strengthen your friendships by strengthening yourself in the roles you play?

5 Steps Towards Being a Better Mentor

Maybe you were assigned a person to mentor in your job, or you just decided on your own to mentor someone. Either way, congratulations! Of course you want to be a great mentor., but how? Practice. Here are five steps that I have learned in my experience as a mentor that you can apply:

1. Get your mentoring sessions on the calendar. Put your mentoring sessions on your calendar and stick to them. It is easy to cancel a session when you are under a time crunch, but to be successful, make mentoring a priority. Follow through on your commitments to mentor.

2. Get out of the office. Mentoring is best done in a neutral environment. Get away from the stress of the office, and dedicate time to focus on the conversation.

3. Have an agenda. Mentoring is more than a conversation. Make sure you have goals for each session, actions between sessions, follow up, and feedback. Put your discussion plan in an agenda. You don’t need to print it or email it, but it helps to organize your thoughts. An index card with notes may possibly help you on stay track. Don’t go to the meeting unprepared.

4. Coach, don’t tell. It is tempting to relate your experiences to your mentee to help them navigate their challenges. The truth is your challenges are different than theirs. It will be more helpful to listen and ask questions. Coaching provides a process for them to clarify their options and select their own solutions.

5. Care about your Mentee’s success. You should mentor for one reason. You must truly care about your mentee. Your desire to mentor must be founded in the desire you have to see them succeed. It has nothing to do with you, but all to do with them.

Following these five steps have improved my mentoring, and can hopefully help you. Take time today, to plan your next successful mentoring session.

What Is Right?

I had an argument with an individual last week. The argument was not important, but it struck me afterwards that his position was, “I am just doing what I think is right!” This comment could be perfectly fine if we are able to listen to opposing views and discuss possible differences in opinion. But when we decide we no longer care what others think, and consider our opinion right without listening… well that leads to conflict.

Major conflicts throughout history were the result of people doing what they thought was right. Family arguments result when people do what they think is right without considering how it impacts others.

I have written a lot about the importance of knowing yourself and knowing your values. It is your guide to living a life of significance. I have also written a lot about the skill of listening. If you care about others you will listen to them. These two things, knowing your values and listening, are not meant to be segregated.

After the argument, I also reflected on multiple occasions in the work environment where people believe they are right and stop listening. This brings to a quick halt the opportunities for improvement, innovation, and change.

The lesson I reflected on this week is that even when you feel you are right, you have to consider the possibility that you are not. Stop and listen. How good are you at temporarily putting aside your opinion, and actively listening?