Category: Influence

Increase Your Ability to Connect

If you are trying to strengthen a connection with someone, get out of your own head, and get into theirs. If can discover how people spend their time and money, you will learn what they value. If you know what they value, you will have gained valuable insight in how you may improve your connection with them.

It seems like such a simple approach, but all of us live life through our own perspective. You have to intentionally refocus your thoughts to achieve another perspective. Here is how you can apply this simple tool.

1. Understand both time and money. If you want to understand someone, you need to see both aspects. Together they will give you a better understanding. Where do they spend money? When do they pay for premium, and when do they buy just average products (clothes, car, food, etc.)? How do they spend their time at work? How do they spend their free time? When are they the happiest? What activities do they enjoy? These simple questions can give you great insight.

2. Find common ground. Once you feel you understand what someone values, you need to determine what you have something in common. At times this is easy to recognize, and in other cases you will have to dig deeper. Making a connection with someone with whom you share an interest or hobby can be easy. But if you need to connect with someone when you don’t see common ground, you should consider values, ideals, and thoughts. This can be a tougher option to uncover.

3. Take action to connect. How can you meet their need? How can you create a connection based on the shared common ground? This is the action step. You may be able to develop your connection through shared goals, and interests. You might also be able to develop a connection by modifying your behavior to match what they value, in order to build rapport. However, always be authentic, and always maintain your own values. Never become something you are not just to make a connection.

Take a minute and think about someone you know fairly well. Think about how they spend their time and their money. What does that tell you about what they value, and what is important to them?

Now think about someone you want to connect with. Do you know how they spend their time and money? If not, your first step is learning more about them. If you do, then how would you describe their values? Does it give you any ideas on how to strengthen your connection with them?

This is a simple tool, but can be powerful at moments when we struggle to connect!

Help Someone Step Beyond Their Comfort Zone

As a coach, it is very rewarding to see someone expand their belief in themselves.  Then to use their new confidence to go outside their comfort zone, and find a new level of success.

So many people are stuck in their comfort zone. They don’t see a reason to cross the boundary. But the motivation to change can only come from within. It can be very frustrating when we see a friend, a co-worker, or a family member not living up to their potential.

If you are inclined to help a person get beyond their comfort zone, here are three basic steps to consider.

1) Help them define, and bring clarity to their dreams for the future. You may have to draw out a new future for them by asking questions, discovering their strengths, and their passions. Let it be their dream you coax out of them, not the goals you want them to achieve.

2) See them as they could be, not as they are. See them as if they had already accomplished their dream. Treat them as they will be.

3) Help them find wins that move them forward. Leaving the comfort zone can be very difficult. Help them find the first small steps that will lead to success.

If you would like to experience the power of having a coach dedicated to your success, schedule your complimentary coaching session today. Send an email to Mark at mbrown@newroadleadership.com and we can schedule a time.

 

3 Steps to Powerful Empowerment

A strong leader empowers their people. An empowered team will always out perform a team that is led by intimidation. But empowerment is both an art and a science. It is usually a mixture of intuition and fact that guides us to begin empowering others. It is also a skill that you should never stop developing.

Here are three key reminders on empowerment:

1. Recognize you can’t empower everyone. This is usually a mistake of an inexperienced leader. Many have a desire to become an empowering leader, and immediately want to empower everyone on the team. It does not work. Not everyone is ready, able, or deserving to be empowered.

2. Choose people to empower carefully. If you want to empower someone, their success becomes your success. Invest in people that have the knowledge, skill, and desire to be empowered. If someone only possesses two of these three traits, they will be lacking in their success.

3. Invest your time and energy in their success. This is the most critical step. Many times we empower, but fail to follow through. Consider the first time you empowered your son or daughter to drive the family car. How did you know they were ready? How did you train them? How did you help them and transition them to be a successful driver? I am sure you did not just throw them the keys, say “here you go”, and walk away. When you empower anyone, you must take the time to verify they are ready, prepared, trained, and have a proper transition plan before they are on their own.

The rewards for empowering others can be great. Every empowering relationship should result in a win for both parties. You cannot maximize your leadership without it. As James B Stockdale has said, “Great leaders gain authority by giving it away. “

A Lesson from Abe Lincoln

lincoln3I was part of a group of John Maxwell Team members that had the opportunity to watch and study leadership lessons from the movie, Lincoln, starring Daniel Day Lewis. John played the movie, but stopped after nearly every scene to teach leadership lessons that were brilliantly displayed.

In this article I am going to demonstrate three of many lessons we can learn from Lincoln.

Lincoln surrounded himself with great leaders. His cabinet was filled with strong powerful characters. A weak, insecure leader will surround themselves with weak people. Lincoln was an even greater leader because he was secure in surrounding himself with with these strong people. A great leader is willing to have the best people around them even if sometimes those people are hard to lead. Lincoln was challenged by his cabinet every step along the way. It made him better.

Lincoln used the influence of others to lead. He needed help from Preston Blair, the opposition, to succeed. Strong leaders are humble and ask for help. They don’t ask for agreement. A great leader will always need to use the influence of others. You will never get to a point that you don’t need it. A strong leader learns how to build consensus without compromising their goal or values.

Lincoln heard over and over that passing the 13th amendment was impossible. A great leader is optimistic despite adversity. Leaders must be dealers in hope. Hope that is backed by strategy and a will to win. When you become a leader you cannot be controlled by other people’s emotions. You do not give up compassion, but you must be committed to your vision.

There are countless lessons in the life of Lincoln, and they are captured beautifully in this movie. It is a movie that should be watched more than once. After you enjoy the picture, you can watch it a second time to focus your attention on the leadership principles. All of the main characters were great leaders, but Lincoln was the greatest among them. I hope you get chance to enjoy this movie several times.

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