Author: Mark S. Brown

Stop Interrupting and Listen

When I find myself interrupting a conversation, it is usually because I am excited to make an observation, a point, or share my opinion. But I have learned that what is important to me, may not be important to the other person.

I hate to be interrupted before I am able to finish my thoughts. Others are too. So why do we tend to do it so often? For me it seems to happen more with people that I know well. In my head I can finish their thoughts, so I don’t listen as closely.

To become a better listener, I had to make an effort not to interrupt. I had to stop finishing other people’s sentences. I had to focus intently on their words, not my thoughts.

The most important lesson I learned was that in many conversations, people just want someone to listen. The topic of the conversation is not even important. They just wanted to be heard.

We can all be better listeners. It starts with being quiet.

“When you interrupt, you’ve stopped listening. People need to be heard.” – Jerry Seinfeld

Why Think About Your Values

You probably are very aware that cost and value are different. In fact, when examined closely they may not even be related. Perceived value and true value for any item is also different from person to person.

I find it interesting to reflect on what I value, and why. Depending on the item I must consider usefulness, durability, and enjoyment.

How would you compare the value of a prime rib-eye steak versus a brand new Ford F-150 truck? A rib-eye may cost you $15 per pound in a grocery store. A new Ford F-150 you can buy for about $5 per pound. Isn’t that amazing? A rib-eye you can enjoy for one meal. The truck will provide value for many years.

What is interesting to me is not comparing value of things, but understanding what I value, especially in people. My values include honesty, authenticity, and compassion. I value people that are able to put others first.

We may share values, but I am sure our list of values would also be unique. What do you value? How would you differentiate between what you value, and what you appreciate.

I appreciate people that are candid, but I value compassion. I appreciate people willing to voice their opinion, but I value peaceful solutions. I appreciate people willing to challenge my ideas, but I value debate, problem solving, and collaboration.

If you create a list, challenge yourself to look at it as you make decisions throughout your day. I find that it helps me stay aligned with who I want to be.

Build a High Performance Team You Can Be Proud Of

All high performing teams have a trait in common. Team members are willing to put team goals before individual goals. The team members work together for the good of the team. You can see this attitude reflected in very diverse high performing teams from an army unit, a research team, and even a community social group.

This cohesion rarely happens without effort. As a team leader, getting team members to look past their own goals needs to be a top priority.

A leader can start the process by developing and communicating a shared vision for the team. But to be effective, here are the requirements for success.

1. Connect emotionally. Your team members need to know you truly care about them. It is easy to connect on the highs, but you must also connect at the lows.
2. Connect intellectually. Challenge them. Teach them. Listen to them.
3. Resolve conflicts quickly and effectively. Conflicts can spiral out of control if not addressed immediately. Understand individual views but build cohesive views.
4. Support the individual but align effort in favor of the team. Recognize individual efforts individually, recognize and reward team accomplishments in the team environment.

In my career I have led many teams. Some effective, and some very ineffective. I have learned that when I did not take the time to work through these steps with individual team members, as well as with the complete team, I was heading towards failure. Regardless of how busy you are, if you want a high performing team, you must commit your time and effort to lead.

What Everyone Should Know to Improve Their Daily Reflection

Taking time to reflect on your day can be a daunting task until you make it a habit. From my experience many people fail to make it a habit because they don’t get value from the process immediately. It seems like work with no reward.

It is true that the value of this process grows over time. The more we practice, the more beneficial it becomes.

So how do you make it more valuable as quickly as possible? Here is one method I have recommended to others successfully in the past. I find this method helpful even after you have years of practice.

Reflect today on how you lived or failed to live according to your values. Have you grown your character or has your character lost some of it’s shine?

Take an inventory of what you value. This list may include things like honesty, trust, authenticity, empathy, and compassion. Did your actions today reflect these values?

How could your actions reveal these values in a stronger way? Were you a good example or a poor example?

When we reflect in this manner it takes us away from just an evaluation of how things went, to a reflection on how to continuously build our character! This can be a powerful change to help someone find the prize they were missing in their reflection process.