Author: Mark Brown

5 Steps Towards Being a Better Mentor

Maybe you were assigned a person to mentor in your job, or you just decided on your own to mentor someone. Either way, congratulations! Of course you want to be a great mentor., but how? Practice. Here are five steps that I have learned in my experience as a mentor that you can apply:

1. Get your mentoring sessions on the calendar. Put your mentoring sessions on your calendar and stick to them. It is easy to cancel a session when you are under a time crunch, but to be successful, make mentoring a priority. Follow through on your commitments to mentor.

2. Get out of the office. Mentoring is best done in a neutral environment. Get away from the stress of the office, and dedicate time to focus on the conversation.

3. Have an agenda. Mentoring is more than a conversation. Make sure you have goals for each session, actions between sessions, follow up, and feedback. Put your discussion plan in an agenda. You don’t need to print it or email it, but it helps to organize your thoughts. An index card with notes may possibly help you on stay track. Don’t go to the meeting unprepared.

4. Coach, don’t tell. It is tempting to relate your experiences to your mentee to help them navigate their challenges. The truth is your challenges are different than theirs. It will be more helpful to listen and ask questions. Coaching provides a process for them to clarify their options and select their own solutions.

5. Care about your Mentee’s success. You should mentor for one reason. You must truly care about your mentee. Your desire to mentor must be founded in the desire you have to see them succeed. It has nothing to do with you, but all to do with them.

Following these five steps have improved my mentoring, and can hopefully help you. Take time today, to plan your next successful mentoring session.

Get Out of Your Head

We have a story that is always playing in our mind. It is like a theatrical play, but it is real. It is our life. When we are thinking, we are creating that story. We fill in the blanks between what we see, hear, taste, feel, and smell with our thoughts.

If we are only listening to our own story, then we are not able to understand fully what is happening around us. Because all those people in the same room as you, they have a story as well. We have to force ourselves out of our own story and into the moment. When we grasp their story, we see a different perspective.

We can relate someone else’s story to our own. We can connect. Before you shift the story back to your perspective, think about the possibilities for collaboration. Take time to truly listen.

When we work in a group, we want to have the answers. But it is more powerful when we can help others find their own answers. What may be right for us, is not always right for someone else. When we step out of our head and connect, we usually find a better solution. When we listen, we build influence. Only when we have influence, will people truly listen to our ideas. Then true collaboration can begin. Today, take a moment to get out of your head.

What Is Right?

I had an argument with an individual last week. The argument was not important, but it struck me afterwards that his position was, “I am just doing what I think is right!” This comment could be perfectly fine if we are able to listen to opposing views and discuss possible differences in opinion. But when we decide we no longer care what others think, and consider our opinion right without listening… well that leads to conflict.

Major conflicts throughout history were the result of people doing what they thought was right. Family arguments result when people do what they think is right without considering how it impacts others.

I have written a lot about the importance of knowing yourself and knowing your values. It is your guide to living a life of significance. I have also written a lot about the skill of listening. If you care about others you will listen to them. These two things, knowing your values and listening, are not meant to be segregated.

After the argument, I also reflected on multiple occasions in the work environment where people believe they are right and stop listening. This brings to a quick halt the opportunities for improvement, innovation, and change.

The lesson I reflected on this week is that even when you feel you are right, you have to consider the possibility that you are not. Stop and listen. How good are you at temporarily putting aside your opinion, and actively listening?

The Satisfaction of Achievement

If you can master a task in less than thirty minutes, at best it will provide very short term satisfaction. But when we spend our time, money, and effort to master a skill over years, the satisfaction that it brings can be life long.

Why can we be so impatient when it comes to achievement? At times I wonder if the pace that we demand achievement has damaged some of our foundational values.Know what you want to achieve.

1. Know your yourself and your achievement goals. Do you have the right goal, and are you equipped to achieve it? Where can you grow yourself and your knowledge to increase your ability to achieve?

2. Invest the time. Make time every day to take one step closer. Twenty minutes a day of effort is over 120 hours a year. If you spent this time dedicated to growing yourself towards your goal, what would be the impact? What if you spent twenty minutes a day for ten years? Do you have the commitment to yourself?

3. Enjoy the process. Be happy about the time you spend growing yourself. Find an alignment that makes it enjoyable, not a chore. Make it fun, and it will become a journey that fills you with satisfaction.

Make a difference in your environment by linking your foundational values with your achievement goals. What are you working on today that brings you satisfaction?