Category: Limiting Belief

How Committed Are You to Improving Yourself?

How committed are you to making yourself better? How satisfied are you with your current level of performance, current skills, and results?

I usually find that people are either committed and working to improve their skills, or they are making no effort and are content with their current situation.

When I think about the people that consistently seek opportunities to grow and what makes them unique, I have found these four attributes.

  1. Know their strengths and weaknesses. They typically know themselves. They have evaluated their skills. They focus on making their strengths even stronger.
  2. Willing to invest in their growth. Those most committed to growth, invest their money in their growth. They believe in themselves.
  3. Willing to step out of their comfort zone. Getting out of your normal routine, and exploring new options are a way of life for these people. They like to learn new things.
  4. Willing to fail. Overcoming failure may be the most important trait for people that want to continue to get better. Failure stops many people from future success. But those that turn failure into learning, will try again. Great success does not come without failure.

Where are you when it comes to these attributes? If you are like me, your intent is always bigger than your actions. Just knowing these attributes changes nothing. It is the action that counts. I admit I struggle staying motivated to put all of these into action every day.

No matter how well you do on these attributes, there is always room for improvement.

Are You Feeling Overwhelmed with Your Goals?

At the beginning of the year many people set goals, and then quickly give up because of the overwhelming challenge they have given themselves.

If you find yourself in this position, don’t panic. Don’t give up. Evaluate these ideas and then set yourself on a path for success.

1. Don’t compromise. As soon as you hit a barrier, a complication, or a challenge, it may become tempting to change your goal… don’t. The fact is you won’t achieve your goal without overcoming obstacles. Do you really want to compromise your dream?

2. Be persistent. Achieving your goals requires work, not luck. It is about making progress every single day. Achieve small wins that accumulate to bigger achievements. Take action. If you are sitting on the sideline and waiting for something to happen, you may be waiting for a long time. Action creates opportunity.

3. Find inspiration. Why do you want to achieve your goal? Who inspires you to achieve it? Where are you getting support? Find energy in the reasons you want to achieve your goals.

4. Celebrate wins. Celebrate when you make progress. Reward yourself, and renew your challenge to finish. Enjoy your progress and then get back to work.

I hope you are not stuck so early in 2016, but if you are, think through your goals, and these ideas. What can help you get back on track? Reach out for the help you need. Let’s achieve those big goals and dreams we have for 2016.

 

What Everybody Ought to Know About Authenticity

Authenticity is a trait that we admire. In the business world it is used as a trait that is required, but being authentic is a challenge.

True authenticity requires being ourselves in all situations. Acting and behaving based on our values, beliefs, and thoughts. True authenticity prevents us from pretending to be someone we are not. It is living in our character all the time. Yet it is nearly impossible to achieve.

Here are at three situations that often cause us to not be authentic.

Protecting Others – Sometimes we need to act differently to support other people. For example, being brave even when we are not feeling brave. Lending strength to others even when you are feeling weak can be unauthentic, but necessary in certain settings. It is putting the needs of others before yourself.

Expectations – Sometimes we are expected to put on our “game face”. The situation we are in requires us to be something we are not. For example, the saying “don’t let them see you sweat”, comes to mind. When we behave in this manner are we preventing some negative consequence, or are we just playing the game?

Childhood Lessons – We are filled with childhood lessons because of someone else’s idea about our life. Most are harmless, but they can program us to behave in a way that is not our true self. For example, we are taught at a young age that men don’t cry. How does this lesson serve us? It results in men that cannot grieve. Another example is “don’t talk to strangers”. This lesson only serves us as a child. As an adult the ability to approach and talk to strangers is a strength. Can we live to our full potential without meeting strangers? How many childhood lessons have shaped you into something less than you could be?

How can we grow to be more authentic?

1. Recognize when you are not being authentic. Know thyself. Strive to live up to your ideals. When you act outside what is natural for you, evaluate why.

2. Don’t assume that being authentic will result in the best outcome for any situation. I am reminded of some advice from my mother. She said, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Does that mean I should never speak up if I don’t agree with someone? No. But before I speak up, I should reflect on a couple of things. Do I understand their view? What is the best way to express my disagreement? When and how would it be appropriate?

Being your authentic self doesn’t mean following your instincts without thought. When caught in an emotional moment we sometimes let one aspect of our character overshadow our true self. I think if we practice evaluating difficult situations, we will find ways to be authentic, and at the same time respect respecting others.

When do you find yourself not behaving authentically?

Does Frustration Get In Your Way?

I get angry with myself when I become frustrated. I don’t think I am an angry person, but yet I get frustrated at times at the silliest things. For me it can be as simple as slow moving traffic, coffee that has gone cold, or my favorite shirt being in the laundry when I want to wear it.

What is the point of frustration? My frustration is not felt by those around me, unless I act out my frustration. Then they see the results of my actions. They only know me through my actions.

So what do I need to do? Eliminate frustration.

Impossible? Maybe. But I can learn to get past it quicker. I can learn to pause and reflect on the moment and not let the feeling of frustration control me.

Usually it is just a matter of looking at the bigger picture. Or stepping back and looking at the situation from a different perspective. We can train ourselves to be better at taking this simple pause and reflect moment. When we do, we will realize that most of the things that frustrate us are meaningless.

We get frustrated when things happen differently than what we expect or plan. If we become less focused on our expectation, and more focused on making the best of every situation, we will have a new world of opportunity before us.

Frustration is just a form of selfishness. We want things our way.

Does frustration get in your way? What do you do to overcome frustration in your life?