coaching – Mark S. Brown

Intentional Sacrifice

When I was a kid, I used to collect marbles and baseball cards. Unlike my friends I did not like trading. I always wanted to keep what I had. Looking back I think they were happier with their collections, than I was with mine. They made multiple trades with good cards and bad cards, to get the few cards they truly wanted.

The Law of Sacrifice from John Maxwell’s, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership says, “A Leader Must Give Up to Go Up.” All through life we are faced with choices. We cannot continuously progress without giving up things within our comfort zone. It includes choices as simple as baseball cards, and as complex as our current job. But not making a choice is, by default, a choice to remain the same.

Change happens in our lives. We can’t stop it, but we can become more intentional about our changes. A coach can help us see opportunities by raising our awareness. A coach helps us see the decisions we made by default.

If you find yourself avoiding decisions, or only living within your comfort zone, then I would suggest you could benefit from some reflection on your opportunities. Opportunities you may not even see. If you feel stuck, finding a professional coach can help. All of us can be more intentional when it comes to The Law of Sacrifice.

What Belief Is Limiting You?

Limiting beliefs live in your head, and therefore are invisible. They are filters that shape your world, and are built over a lifetime, but they are holding you back. You create these filters as protection. They keep you in your comfort zone. They keep you from being hurt, embarrassed, or being a failure.

If you are going to tap into the unlimited potential that exists within you, you will have to kill these limiting beliefs. Here are a few methods.

1. Disprove them. Just jump beyond your comfort zone and prove that you can do whatever you thought you could not do. Want to be a better speaker? Join toastmasters. Want to be a better leader? Join a John Maxwell Team mastermind group.

2. Live outside your comfort zone. This is much harder because we all naturally want to be in our comfort zone. If you can purposefully stretch yourself beyond the edge of your comfort zone each day, you will grow beyond your dream.

3. Find a coach. Most of us don’t even know our limiting beliefs. They are part of our view of the world. A coach can help you find your barriers, and then step through them. A coach can help you articulate your dream, and hold you accountable to achieve it. The reality is that most people will not be able to conquer their limiting beliefs without a coach. The John Maxwell Team is a great place to start.

Paul R. Scheele said, “Humans, with the capacities of higher-order thinking, can overcome limiting behaviors and fears.” Animals act on instincts an feelings, humans act on the thoughts that originate from within their sub-conscious mind. We have the ability to change our thoughts, change our actions, and change our results!

You Are Not Here to Judge

Truths applied to yourself result in growth. Truths applied to others result in judgement. If we want to help other people grow, we must find a way for them to discover their own truths. If we give them our truths, then we will only be judging them.

It is difficult to place ourselves in the shoes of another person, and view the world from their vantage point. It is not the natural way we think of the world. Yet everyone has a different unique view of the world. Everyone has their own inner voice that speaks for them.

If you are interested in helping someone else, here are three things that can help you avoid judging.

1. Help them discover their own truths. Engage in conversation that is thought provoking for them. Ask about their thoughts. Continue to delve deeper allowing them to really contemplate what they are telling you.

2. Stop giving advice. Instead of giving advice, ask about options. If you help them discover numerous options or alternative paths, they will have a chance to decide the correct course in their world.

3. Don’t be attached to an outcome. Most of the time we have a solution for people. We want them to reach a specific conclusion. We want to guide them to see things our way. You need to throw away that thought and allow people to develop their own solutions. Be supportive whatever the outcome.

Is there someone close to you that you have tried to direct, and it has resulted in a poor outcome? How can you adjust your relationship to be more supportive, and less judgmental?